She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
