hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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