i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
