i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize