did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
