man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
