just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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