Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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