this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
