It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
