cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
