Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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