all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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