last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
