Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize