I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
