Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
