I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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