I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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