People in love make me want to vomit
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
