lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it's like heaven, but drunker
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
