WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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