I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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