this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this beer tastes like vomit already
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
