got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
