My room smells like vodka and shame
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His nipple licking is glorious
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