What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
