I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
