Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize