Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
