There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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