Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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