don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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