she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
