it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize