I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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