Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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