who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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