Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
