omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just google imaged poop.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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