yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
smell my finger.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
