I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
