her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
