everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
