their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
