Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
