The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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