the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
