i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
