I'm so fucking centered right now
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
