She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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