My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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