Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
