I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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