we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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