So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
