I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I could fuck to npr.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
