At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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