i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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