He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
