Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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