You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
