I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
