I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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