i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
