you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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