Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize