Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
