I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
