Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
